Monday, 12 June 2017

Life Update: Im Back From a Break

Like the title says: I'm back from a break. To be honest, I needed this break so much. And as you might recognise what I did: I kept running around, work, work, and work, never took a break or thought about myself. 

Well, I've come to a point where my mind said: now you stop running and think about yourself. So it shut down, I broke and realised that this way of life wasn't getting me anywhere. I felt tired, confused and went to a doctor. Now I'm in a process of recovery. At first I didn't do anything. I slept, watched movies, and didn’t even upload an Easter blogpost. It was too much. Now I'm not having a burnout. Even though it sounds like it. I've come to realise that I've too many negative thoughts about myself. That I barely got excited for things. So decided to literally stand still. I finished my internship and last school projects. And now after three weeks of doing nothing I decided that I'm going to pick up things that I really liked to do. Because I felt like doing nothing isn't who I am. I'm always doing something. One of those somethings is blogging.

I really want you to understand that I'm going through rough times. I can't promise blogposts every Monday. I've just decided this. And hope that this can be a happy place for me. And that I can slowly keep up with this again. I try to put as less pressure on myself as possible because I freak out very easily when I promise something and can't make it true...

School is something I’m going to worry about next year. School agreed with me that I really need to take care of myself. So I will graduate next year.

Also, next week’s post will be the one of Easter. It's about 40 days without Netflix. A fun post with realizations through the 40 days without...

And after that we will see! I love you all and hope you’re doing fine. Also, I’m a little bit sorry that I didn't tell you this before. But it's just that I’m comfortable saying this now. And that I wasn't ready to tell you this a month ago.

Love you lots!

Xx Rianne

Monday, 27 March 2017

Story Time: My Very First Nail Polish

When I was cleaning out my nail polish collection I found a really old, barely readable, dried out pearly pink nail polish bottle. This – my fellow readers- was my very first nail polish.

Me and my sister did (and still do) a lot together. And when we were younger we decided that we were old enough to buy our very first nail polish. We always had to ask for our mothers nail polish and we decided that we needed our own stash. So we went to 'De Kruidvat' (something like Boots) and tested several colours. We wanted a colour that was neutral, that could fit many outfits and didn’t stand out too much. And so we decided to buy this beauty...

Neither of us worked yet and we only got some pocket money. So we split te price. We probably had to pay something like 1,50 each. But it was a sacrifise. 1,5 week helping my mum with cleaning out the dishwasher and setting the table.. I mean, that’s a lot of work when you’re younger! ;)
But I remember how cool I felt when I bought this bottle. I was so proud! And when we got home we both polished our nails. It was sugary pearly pink and we did our best to polish our nails as neat as possible. 

And that was the start of my nail polish collection. At this moment I’m not allowed to wear nail polish at work, so I barely polish my nails anymore. But I’m still so proud about this moment and I will never throw away this pink dried out bottle of nail polish. I’ve thrown many bottles away but this one is very special to me.

Sadly I haven’t noted this moment in my diary.. At least, I couldn’t find it in all the stories that are written in there. But I think it was at least 10 years ago. When we just moved from Monster (yes, that’s a real place in The Netherlands) to Noord-Scharwoude. I think it could be possible that it was the same year that I secretly wore mascara to school and that my mom found out during lunch. She made me wash it off because I was too young for make up! So I must be around the age of 10 or 11! (By the way, I took my sisters mascara because I, of course, didn’t own one myself...)

So this is my memorie of my very first beauty product bought by myself -and sister-. Do you remember what beauty product you bought? Let me know in the comments below!

Xx Rianne

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Monday, 20 March 2017

Book Review: Everyone Brave is Forgiven

Since forever I got time to read. Sometimes I think it’s hard to sit yourself down and read. And the past half year, I haven’t been reading much. So now my internship has started I’ve to travel by train for an hour. Sometimes I prepare the day or do some last tasks on the way but most of the time I get my book out of my bag and read!


And the latest book I read was Everyone Brave is Forgiven by Chris Cleaves. I bought it when I was at Dublin Airport waiting 5 hours for my next flight home from the US. I saw a bookstand which was almost completely sold out. Only this one book was left. And I thought, if so many people buy this book, than I should be buying it too. And I understand why so many people bought this book.

This book is about the start of the second world war in Britain, London. It’s about a few characters: Mary, Alistair and Tom. You get to know them. You start to love them. Mary and Tom live in London and Alistair, Tom's friend is, off to war. And these storylines connect to each other. And to read how people lost their loved ones, what damage the war did to them... It was scary. I’ve always been interested in stories about the war. I’ve been to a camp in Mauthausen, I’ve done a few research projects about the war. But everytime, it hits me harder. The older I get the more I realise how awful the war really was. And this book... it got me in tears.

It was painful to read some scenes. At one moment I was in the train, reading about a lovely part when Alistair sends a letter home from the front. And then litteraly in less than 5 sentences you feel so helpless you want to throw the book against wall because the plane crashes and kills people and all the letters written by soldiers never received home and drowned into the ocean. Leaving so many people at home wondering if their husband, brother or son is still alive…  
I was in the train so I couldn’t throw my book. But I really had to put the book down for a second, took a deep breath and then I continued reading. And this is nothing like the other stuff happening in the book. But I don’t want to spoil things, but much worse scenes are written and make you feel hopeless! One time I cried, one time I felt the pain, one time I wanted to scream, one time I just wanted to stop reading and forget that the war has happened. (But we must never forget what happened) It was sometimes so painful to read. Chris Cleaves inspired the story on his grandparents. Which makes it more realistic.

What I learned from this book

I’m living in free country and have lived in peace for almost 21 years! I’ve never seen war… and this book, this one got me. It made me realise even more how bad the war has been. How many people died for our freedom. I swear, this book makes an impression on you. and it made me realize how lucky we are that we get to grow up in peace. and that we must contain peace and help others to live in peace.

That's why you should read it!